Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The "bug" in John Murtha's head...

From John Burtis in the CanadaFreePress

It all came into focus when I received an e-mail the other day from a friend in the medical field. It was rather graphic and showed someone suffering from this parasitic infestation. It went to describe the bizarre symptoms experienced by the victim, who needed prolonged hospitalization and counseling to fully recover.

Whoa, I said. This case closely matches the increasingly vulgar Honest John Murtha situation, from soup to nuts, especially concerning the latter.

The symptoms included an increasingly haughty sense of self, ever wilder and more insensate attributions, increased paranoia, a growing belief in one’s personal invincibility, knee-jerk reflex of propelling the foot into one’s oral cavity, the additory need for increasing personal publicity, total forgetfulness of one’s own past indiscretions, the need to personally enrich one’s relatives by steering contracts their way through the use of one’s legislative committee, the immediate need to grossly inflate the smallest bit of information into vast universes of creation (after the patterns discussed by the noted physicists Alan Guth and Willem de Sitter), the assumption of other characters, and, eventually, total institutional madness.

And I can see the growing panoply of illness on John’s part.

Honest John Murtha explained to the FBI, who posed as sheiks in the Abscam roundup, that although he wasn’t interested in taking the dough "at this point," he was up for further discussions. And there’s Honest John, his brother Kit and the defense business angle of reflexive contracts.

Judge John Murtha has declared that the US Marines in Haditha are guilty of murder before the facts are in, the investigation is complete, killed the civilians "in cold blood," and complains that the chain of command has covered up the crime. It is said he carries judicial robes on every trip for immediate rulings on thorny issues.

Majority Leader John Murtha already began his campaign for the post when he was advised by Nancy Pelosi to back off until the elections might actually determine his ability to run. Badges have been printed, "I am your Leader."

General John Murtha, drawing on his vast logistical experience and a few phone calls to Wes Clark, told Tim Russert that troops relocated to Okinawa could be re-deployed "very quickly" to Iraq, despite being almost 5,000 miles away — a feat which might require as much a four months to accomplish. The House Sergeant at Arms has refused Murtha’s request to wear 4 stars on his collar when speechifying.

President John Murtha, showing how rapidly he is able to bump and run, explained how easily it is to withdraw when the going gets tough, drawing parallels with Beirut and Mogadishu. The future President failed to note that these activities formed the basis for al-Qaeda’s bedrock belief that America always runs when similar going gets tough — the yellow brick road which President Murtha wholeheartedly endorses. Yes, President Bush has denied Murtha’s request to have his photo taken while sitting at the President’s desk, signing documents.

Nope, there’s some sort of bug in John Murtha’s head and it isn’t pretty.

But I say leave it in. (Read the entire story)

Hopefully Mr. Murtha will have plenty of time to get it treated come November.